For I Am Not The One
by WolfShadow's-darkmoon
Summary: Severus finds another similarity between himself and Harry. He finds he must face what the boy himself does and mourns that the teen may not come back from the war living...


Harry thought that it had began the night he had killed his godfather….his curious habit of staring forever out the window, mesmerized by the sights just beyond the pane. His favorite was when the wind would blow during a rainstorm painting stories before his eyes and whispering into his ears the fables and lullabies he'd never heard growing up.

It wasn't until his seventh and last year that he found the little hidden room on the third floor that looked out over the forbidden forest, beyond the dark surface of the lake. Here the window had no covering, and Harry could sit calmly upon the window sill, soaking in the freezing rain.

His friends, or those he had once thought of as such, either ignored his behavior or didn't care…He almost astonished himself at how un-bothered he remained through this.

**I sense there's something in the wind  
That feels like tragedy's at hand**

It was surprisingly Severus Snape, resident Potions Master, who seemed to understand, whose eyes followed him….tracing the path of his quickly approaching destruction. Although, it was hard to tell at whose hand it would come by…his own, or the megalomaniac's hunting him?

Seeing the Potter boy as he was now…distant withdrawn, silent…it was hard for the teacher-come-headmaster to dredge up the old feelings of hatred, at this point it was a needless waste of energy…because the boy never did anything anymore to draw attention to himself.

The attention was there, Severus saw it in the frightened stares the younger students watched the boy with when he walked down the halls like a zombie. He heard it in the older students' whisperings…especially his Slytherin's who watched and noted with a surprising amount of concern the apparent abandonment of the Savior's friends.

"His failure will be the death of us all," Draco Malfoy murmured one day after his eyes had followed the Potter's departure from the potionsclass room.

Severus nodded, eyes never leaving the silent boy, until the door slid closed and his gaze was drawn back to the three students-turned-spies before him, "He will not fail,"

**And though I'd like to stand by him  
Can't shake this feeling that I have  
The worst is just around the bend**

Two weeks passed, two week while Harry became increasingly aware of Snape's eyes always upon him, always gazing at him. It had been so long since he had felt any emotion. He wasn't quite sure why he did under Severus Snape's scrutiny. But the dark eyes that constantly watching him had warmth stirring that had never before been awakened within him.  
That night had him settled in his secret room sitting in the window sill, wrapped in a thick blanket that padded the hard stone. The lightening came first, dancing across the sky illuminating the forest in its raging strength slowly drawing closer to the castle. Harry sat mesmerized by the picture before him…

And then the rain came. A strange dance between water and electricity. Emboldened by the turmoil within himself Harry watched cocooned in his blanket. Weighted down with his painful memories and soaked fabric.

**And does he notice my feelings for him?  
And will he see how much he means to me?  
I think it's not to be**

Severus was surprised to see Draco in his doorway that afternoon after his class had left, he beckoned the boy forward with a raised eyebrow.

The door slid closed with a soft snick, "Harry Potter hasn't been to any of his classes."

"Yes." Severus agreed with a nod.

"The Gryffindor's seem unworried…"

Severus again nodded his head, "I had noticed that as well,"

Draco glanced out the window, "It's the rain," he said absently. His eye's found those of his Godfathers, "He sees you watching,"

Severus nodded.

"You have to find him," Draco whispered, "Because he wants to know you care,"

Severus noted in the recesses of his mind how odd this conversation was, yet his godson's words held the bitter edge of prophesy.

"Do you happen to know where the brat is?"

Draco shrugged turning away to place a hand upon the door, "Potter is surprisingly like you in ways I fear to question….where would you go to watch the rain?"

Then he was gone making his escape while Severus was still lost in the meaning of his words.

Because he knew that Harry Potter didn't want to watch the rain…he wanted to feel.

**What will become of my dear friend  
Where will his actions lead us then?Although I'd like to join the crowd  
In their enthusiastic cloud  
Try as I may, it doesn't last**

It was surprisingly easy to trace ancient steps to the secret room on the third corridor where Severus did indeed find the boy curled up in a blanket yet still soaked threw and shivering.

And he was sleeping, looking more fragile and broken then he ever had before. Maybe that was why Severus felt the strange stirring of tenderness as he pulled the boy into his arms banishing the wet material with a though wrapping the bare body with his cloak. He was light, perhaps a combination of his abusive past and recent habit of skipping meals.

The boy stirred with a whimper green eyes opening to gaze up at the older man dazed, "I had a dream about you," Came the soft confused whisper.

"You can't like me," He faded off eyes drifting closed, "You only hate me…."

Severus soothed the slim body in his arms, "You stupid, foolish boy how could anybody hate you?" Into the silence the unspoken names of those who truly did hate Harry went unacknowledged.

**And will we ever end up together?  
Oh...**

It was a trick getting the boy to his rooms without waking him, and up carefully he settled Harry Potter into his own bed before resting upon the chair next to it.

As he watched the rise and fall of the bird like chest he wondered, why he ever thought of Harry as anything like his father. Seeing him now it was obvious the boy had very few traits from either of his parents.

Proof that one is a product of their own upbringing?

He wasn't sure, he only knew that the angel laying in his bed was so insecure that he couldn't be liked…although that Harry could only believe hate of Severus wasn't surprising…

**And will we ever end up together?**

"Are you going to yell at me now?" Harry gazed up at the ceiling eyes unfocussed and silently Severus hand the boy back his glass and waiting till they were in place before he spoke.  
"When I was in Hogwarts I was tormented by a group of friends," He watched calmly while Harry flinched, "and desperately I sought a sanctuary where I could hide, and be my true self…."

He leaned forward, "I found myself in the very room that I found you in this evening,"  
Harry finally glanced at him and Severus' breath was caught in his throat when he caught the glitter of tears in the boys eyes, "I want to feel, before I die in this war,"

Severus bowed his head and with a trembling hand caught up Harry's own and held it firm in his grasp, "I know,"

"You can't save me," Harrys hand clung to his own.

"I know."

"I'm going to die."

"Yes," Severus whispered.

He found himself with an armful of a trembling young man, "I'm so afraid," Came the soft broken whimper…

"I know Harry, I know,"

**No, I think not, it's never to become  
For I am not the one**  
Sally's Song- Amy Lee 


End file.
